There’s no one in this world who knows you better than yourself. We all know how frustrating it is when you aren’t heard. It’s tiring when you are misunderstood. It can even be dangerous if you aren’t getting the respect and support you need. This post will teach you essential self-advocacy skills to help you help yourself.
Oftentimes people around you have no idea what you’re feeling or thinking unless you tell them. They could have the best intentions for you but still completely miss the mark in terms of what you need for your emotional and mental wellbeing. Hence, it is vital to stand up for yourself with self-advocacy.
What is self advocacy?
Self-advocacy is the action of representing yourself, your views or your interests. It can span across a wide range of situations including relationships, work environments and medical treatments. There’s no wrong answer when it comes to standing up for what you need. It could be anything from asking a waiter to remove an ingredient from your food that you dislike to letting a doctor know you are having an allergic reaction to a medication.
Why is self advocacy important?
First and foremost, self-advocacy is a form of self-respect. It matters how we accept ourselves. Self-empowerment and self-esteem come from the core of our truth. It is important to raise your self-esteem and believe in yourself to be your own best advocate. We know ourselves and our bodies better than anyone else. Learning the skills of speaking for oneself are important for the chronically ill. It can lead to more accurate treatment, increased mental health and self-acceptance.
While self-advocacy skills are important in the workplace, at home and in school, it is critical for people with chronic illness. This post can be helpful for self-advocacy in general but my experience relates mainly to patient self-advocacy.
When you have an illness that continues for a long time, symptoms change. Self-advocacy can lend value to the diagnostic picture as well as treatment decisions.
In my daughter Dana’s journey with Lyme disease there was a necessary component of self-advocacy. At times, the doctors could not see her symptoms and unreliable testing didn’t reveal the disease process. This took a toll on her trust and self-confidence. Mental health self-advocacy and patient self-advocacy became critical for self-esteem and proper treatment. Her progress and lack of progress was revealed through her own ability to clearly identify her physical and mental health symptoms. She needed to be able to share what had gotten better and what had become worse at any given time.
Regardless of what your current situation is, self-advocacy can boost your self-esteem, help you reach your goals and improve your emotional and mental health. Here are some self-advocacy tips that worked for Dana and I:
5 Essential Self Advocacy Skills
1) Get facts and come to your own decisions:
There’s great value in being prepared. Preparation for self-advocacy means doing research on the fact but also the possibilities. When you advocate for yourself you are saying that you want to make a change. What are some of the best things that could come from that change. How would that change come to be? What can you do to build the support from others that will make that change easier for you?
2) Assert yourself and share your experience:
Once you know the facts and the options, let others know what is not working. Share how it makes you feel. Let them know what you need. Then make your request.
3) Be persistent:
While doctors and experts are essential for finding the path that works for you, don’t let their opinion shut you down. If something doesn’t feel right, let them know. By being part of the decision-making process, you can avoid misguided treatment, discomfort and lost time.
4) Build a support system:
Unfortunately, just because you express your needs doesn’t mean they will come to fruition. When you have people you can rely on who provide not only informational but also emotional, mental and spiritual support, your transformational journey will go a lot smoother.
5) Make a plan:
It can take some time to manifest the changes you want to see in your life. By creating a plan for how to bring in what you want, you will have a better chance of realizing it. Making a plan doesn’t mean saying you want to go from A to Z. It means knowing all the little things in the middle that you will need to overcome to get to your goal. What is something you can do today to help you make the change you want to see in your life?
The essence of self-advocacy is that it enhances self-respect and engenders respect from others. Be kind to yourself. You are courageous, important and powerful.
To learn more about how my daughter built advocated for herself during her struggle with chronic Lyme disease, read Dancing In The Narrows.